Maintaining your self-esteem

Published on Feb 22, 2021 by Matthew Bud, The FENG
Being Out of Work
Maintaining your self-esteem during a job search can be difficult at times, especially if your search has been going on for any length of time. So much of who we perceive ourselves to be comes from the reflection of our personalities upon those with whom we are engaged on a daily basis. Cut off from an office environment where folks were bringing us checks to sign, we tend to lose sight of the fact that we haven't changed. All that has changed is that we don't see as many folks every day to give us that kind of reinforcement. There is a great importance to visualizing success. In brief, it takes just as much energy to think negatively as it does to think positively. What happens in the job search process is that many of the contacts in your day tend to negatively impact your feelings of self-esteem. They don't mean to. But, it is obviously necessary for recruiters and human resource executives to say no to you more frequently than they say yes, and in saying no they have to come up with a reason. Usually they say things like "If only you had a CPA." Or, "I see you have done an IPO, but not for a company, only at a CPA firm." What is really happening here is that they have to come up with a reason why you have been rejected that will not get them sued. They may as well be telling you that you are too tall or too short for the job. It is of that much importance to you as a person. I call it “the explanation that you can’t cure.” Don't fall into the trap of repeating to yourself or to others these stupid comments. It is just the kind of stuff that will continue to impact your level of self-esteem for days after your interview or phone call. And, I will repeat again, they are comments of no importance. For whatever reason, you were not a fit in their small minds for the job in question. And, rather than make a helpful comment like "next time wear matching socks," they have instead chosen to make a comment that makes you feel unqualified. Keep in mind that you must be qualified for something. Otherwise, you would never have been invited to join the august body known as The Financial Executives Networking Group. And, keep your chin up! (That way it is easier to hit!) Regards, Matt