Is it business or personal?

Published on Feb 16, 2021 by Matthew Bud, The FENG
Human Interactions
In the closing scene of the first Godfather movie the individual who betrayed Don Corleone is being led away. Just before he gets into the car to his certain death, he turns to consigliere Tom Hagan and says that he hopes he understands that it was all about business and that it was nothing personal. Well, it didn’t change things for him. His fate was unchanged. Too many things in this world are strictly about business. I’m glad that The FENG isn’t one of them. Everything about our circle of friends is INTENDED to be personal. I hope you have noticed that I sign the newsletter “Regards, Matt” and that all of our job leads are “From” someone. The tone and structure are intentional. I expect members to treat each other with respect. (Those Godfather themes are great, aren’t they?) It doesn’t cost anything and it pays big dividends for all involved. I am always pleased when I see members sign notes to each other “Regards.” One of the elements of a job search that everyone finds disconcerting is the lack of respect you suddenly and without warning appear to be receiving from total strangers. Unlike those halcyon days when you had the “checkbook,” you are now just another job seeker. The change can really throw you off your game. None of us is directly or specifically assigned to find work for another member. What we are asked to do is facilitate their process. It is all about being personal and very little about business in the sense that we don’t directly gain from anything we do. The gain we receive is also personal and comes from the satisfaction we get by giving another human being a small contribution towards achieving their life goals, for the most part, under their own head of steam. I call it the “Dumbo feather effect.” Most members don’t need a tremendous amount of help, but they do need some. You can provide a little advice. You can provide an introduction to the right person. Or, you can provide a push in the right direction at the right time. All of these things cost nothing while at the same time providing a substantial benefit to your fellow members. I frequently ask members to share their experiences. You see many of them in our evening newsletter. Their purpose is not to provide you with the polished prose of a published manuscript, but rather the actual thoughts and feelings of other members, which because they are so real, provide others with the spark or support they need on a particular day. Life doesn’t have to be “about doing business.” The truth of my life is that in the process of helping others I have improved my life more than I ever expected. I would encourage all of you will give it a try as well. Let me share this thought with you: Life is about making new friends, helping old friends and feeling needed. Are any other explanations required? Regards, Matt